This generation is focused on gymming, presumably to keep fit and keep the muscles flexible. The mind is often called a muscle which needs flexibility equally. Otherwise, it can become very rigid and closed to valid and useful information. The "blood" of positive energy hasto keep flowing into it continuously.
The practice of the three R' s as I call them , is vital for young moms who are very focused on their kids with the entire upbringing on their shoulders. Not many joint families exist.
So, what are these three R's ?
Receptivity is opening the doors of the mind to allow information, to receive information . We often have a tendency to allow selective information and pick the source of that information according to our preference . This might pre suppose certain built in prejudices. In such cases, some very important information might elude you because you think it is coming from a wrong source. Experience is always better than theoretical knowledge only because it is time tested knowledge. So be receptive and be like a sponge. Soak in information and use what you need at any given point in time. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
Life presents many challenges in bringing up kids. You cannot afford to lose your resilience. You just have to live and learn without allowing yourself to get fazed or develop frustrations. One definite way to develop resilience is to look beyond your life at others and the challenges they face. You heart needs to open up and become more inclusive. This will teach you to count your blessings in many ways and you will be able to maintain your levels of resilience. Just like children have a natural instinct to pick themselves up after a fall and forget it quickly.
Children are your mirrors. Whatever you think and do resonates with them. So, it becomes mandatory for you as a parent to develop the qualities you would like to see in your kids within yourself first. Every mom wants their child to become a wholesome , inclusive and happy adult. The example has to be set by you. The child will imitate you in the first few years. There are parents who impose their likes and dislikes on their offspring. It is not advisable. The whole karma theory is based on soul connections from other lives. For example, you might find your child loving someone in the family that you don't exactly see eye to eye with. Let it happen. You are in charge of your child's upbringing, not its destiny. Become the person you want your child to be . The resonance will reward you with a beautiful child and an equally beautiful adult.
Love is a potent emotion that can actually give life, and give life back as well.
In Indian mythology, there is a story of Savitri who actually followed "YAMA", the God of Death and brought her husband back to life from Yama. So, when we talk of disciplining our children, this has to be tempered with the constant background of love. Love achieves miracles at any age.
Many a time, as in case of working parents, it has been seen that children perceive this as " minus parents", even though both parents might be working out of economic necessity. Their love is perceived as not being translated into time, and therefore, less hours of love and nurturing coming their way.
There is a difference between pure love and obsessive love. Young moms need to understand the difference. Pure love is always balanced with responsible upbringing of the child, creating a wholesome, happy personality. Obsessive love can be possessive and can deprive a child of a balanced exposure and curb its natural tendencies of discovery, exploration and a sense of adventure.
So, love is the prime energy. Use it towards making your child a happy and loving child. Good luck.
Most women feel that a child " completes" them. So, they get married and the next important step is childbearing. Today, you don't have to wait to get married. Married or unmarried, a natural or adopted child is a beautiful experience.
But do you know that this soul has actually chosen it's mom to come into this world? Unbelievable, right? We call it an accident of birth in our ignorance. But it is not so at all. In fact, there are no accidents or coincidences in this world. Everything has a reason. There is a large cosmic plan at work which we don't recognise nor are aware of.
All of this is true, by the way. Every child has a past life connection, or what is called a "karmic" connection with this family of souls it chooses as its nurturing environment for the initial few years. This soul could have been your parent, ancestor, sibling, friend or even enemy in some past lives. Role playing is such an integral and vital part of "karma",that your child today could have been your brother or sister..anyone. So, the Universe did not give us a memory of these roles from other lives. Otherwise, just think how difficult it would be to play a different role in the current life.
What happens is, when we are unable to release our "baggage" of negativity with people, places and events in an earlier life and carry these to our grave, some of this unfinished business will confront us in this life. So, newborns come with an agenda that needs to be played out and healed. That is why their choice of a mom is centred around being near those souls that they need to interact with.
The reason why moms are naturally equipped to give the maternal love, is because the child is aware of its' past lives when it is born. The healing process should ideally start with the mom because she is the main caretaker of the baby during the first few years. The foetus also imbibes all of the mom's feelings and experiences while in the womb. So, those moms who think otherwise, must become vigilant about their every thought, emotion and action. THEY ARE BEING WATCHED AND HEARD !
Now, a word about adopted children. Adopted children are as important as your own children. They also come into your life , already connected from other lives. The only difference is that they are not born through you. In such cases, a nurturing mom is more important than a natural mom.
Remember the story of Lord Krishna who was born to Devaki but brought up by Yashoda.
(Reference : the spiritual text Mahabharata ).
Moms must be advised that the quality of loving in both cases of natural and adopted kids should be equal. And for those moms or families of such women who cannot love an adopted child , as a professional healer, they would be well advised not to adopt one at all.
People are generally of the opinion that during pregnancy, some of us tend to get “hormonal”, as in what they call “over” emotional and “over” reactive. That may or may not be true at all, but at that moment, just because of this verdict being passed on us, we just might prove them right. However, at this point, our peace of mind must definitely override concerns about what others think. We need to feel well at all times.
So, here's the recipe for when we DON’T feel so well.
Sit in a comfortable position. Keep your spine straight and close your eyes. You need to shut out the world and open your inner eyes. Believe me, you have them.
Now, take a few deep breaths and keep relaxing the muscles of your whole body.
Say an affirmation in your mind three times:
"I am calm, peaceful, healthy and very happy"
Next, concentrate on a point between your eyebrows and just sit still. Imagine a white light before your eyes. Keep looking at the light. If any thoughts come, let them come and let them go. Don't resist. Feel the peace radiate within you. Make an intention that this white light is filling every cell of your body with peace and joy and radiating within the baby as well. Imagine or visualize the calm, peaceful and happy child within.
Sit for as long as you enjoy this state of peace. Then open your eyes slowly, rub your palms together and place them over your eyes. Open them ....and hey presto ! You are a new person !
SMILE...and keep smiling through the day.
I love to watch daily Indian Soap Operas where pregnancy is announced by the expectant mom through a shy appeal for Tamarind ("Imli" in Hindi) and the inevitable blush that follows it. In modern times, these moments are so deliciously bizzare and disappearing so rapidly! But if that is a bit of drama, the entire 9 months of pregnancy can be a whole movie. You may not take pregnancy in your stride. Are you joking? All the "well meaning" advice and experiences, painstakingly wrapped in mothballs are gleefully unwrapped for re-use by conviction. These are more lavishly showered upon the expectant mom than the preparations of a baby shower, never mind the thousand new techniques that have been popularised since they were moms.
"Have you found out if it is a boy or girl?"
"Please be careful about blah!blah!blah!"
"Please! No wine! And no high heels! No picking up heavy stuff! Surely you know that, it is common sense!"
"I am giving you a photo of a cute little baby. Please keep looking at it."
All this in good faith, however wonky it feels, from the people who love you and feel excited and protective.
So, while this goes on, the mom-to-be is trying to understand the changes in her body and mind, assimilating this beautiful and new experience that is gradually unfolding, phase by phase, until a beautiful, cuddly baby arrives in this world 36-40 weeks later.
On a serious note, this is really a time to be blissfully happy and in a mode of extreme gratitude, prepare the mind for the inevitable changes that are bound to happen and understand that the baby will bring changes to your routine. It is always easier to integrate the newborn into your routine rather than the other way around. Adapting constantly to the baby's routine might be stressful. Of course, there will be special needs so try and keep the normalcy going as far as possible. New mothers can be overwhelmed by this new experience and get emotional. At the end of the day, all your little prince or princess needs is loads of love, caring & nurturing. It is therefore important to remember these 10 points during your pregnancy:
1. Keep calm
2. Do what you like to do
3. Be in a state of happiness and laughter
4. Read some spiritual books/watch videos on values (only clean and positive visuals and reading).
5. Make your days peaceful
6. Indulge your cravings
7. DO NOT eat for two
8. Surround yourself with caring people
9. Drop alcohol intake
10. Listen to your body
Keep watching this space for specific healing and meditation techniques and other methods if you are a pregnant or new mom, to bring out your spiritual side! If you are looking for ways to internally cleanse yourself and add calmness and serenity to life as a mom, this page is exactly what you need!
My mom is pretty cool. She is a certified independant professional healer. She does Counseling, Reiki, Chakra cleansing, Past Life Regression & other techniques in Regression. In other words, she can set you straight if something is twisted. The Pacifiers page will be penned by her and will provide all pregnant ladies and moms with various 'pacifying' techniques for different situations. You can visit her website (click the button below) for more details and to speak with her personally!